Proud to Tandem Nurse

I made the choice to tandem nurse while pregnant and after my second daughter was born. This may or may not be your choice, and that is okay. Here are my thoughts, in response to a post on the Authentic Parenting blog - Tandem Nursing - Blessing or Curse? : 

I tandem nursed with my two girls. My goal for breastfeeding is to nurse at least until each of my children are 2 years old (or longer). I learned I was pregnant again when my first born had just turned one, and there was no way I was going to stop breastfeeding her - it wasn't her fault I got pregnant.

There were times that it was so painful I would cry during her feedings. It was physically exhausting as well. I know my body is designed to nourish as many children as necessary but being sick well into my fifth month made it very hard; I almost gave up multiple times. To help me push through those difficult days, I backed off to nursing 3 times a day rather than on demand.

I caught SO MUCH flack from everyone (lactivist friends excluded), especially my ObGyn. Fortunately, my husband was one of the supportive ones. He didn't fully understand my decision, but trusted me to know my body and take care of myself and our children, both born and in the womb.

After I birthed my second daughter, I continued to nurse both girls for about 8 months. At first, I nursed them both on demand. I felt that would both help my supply become well established and help with any sibling rivalry or jealousy that my older daughter may be experiencing. After about a month, I continued nursing my infant on demand, but reduced my toddler’s feedings to 3 times a day again, upon waking, at nap time, and at bedtime.

About 2 months ago, from the writing of these thoughts, nursing my 2 ½ year old became painful again, to the point that I would become so irritated with her it was spoiling the experience for both of us. It was a little like fingernails on a chalkboard. Because she also didn’t seem that into it and had weaned herself to only once or twice a day, I decided that I was going to quit nursing her completely.

I was a little nervous about how she would respond to being cut off, but she handled it very well. When she would ask for ‘milk’, I asked her if she wanted ‘white milk’ or ‘chocolate milk’ (a little treat for adjusting so well) and I would offer her selection in a special sippy cup. I think giving her the choice helped empower her through the change.

For me, the process was bittersweet. Knowing that I would never again feel the tug at my breast from my oldest was sad, another ‘letting go’ in the journey of motherhood. And yet, being freed to enjoy the special bonding time with my youngest, alone, brought me a lot of happiness.

So, to answer the question “is tandem nursing a blessing or a curse?” I would have to say: a blessing! It was a blessing for both of my daughters and it was a blessing for me. The moments spent with my children together, the special bonding that happened over the ‘dinner table’ between my girls, the nourishment I have been able to give, far outweigh the challenges of tandem nursing. I wouldn’t have done it any other way.